Wow. My art has really taken a back seat!
I remember I used to draw all the time, and when I didn't I felt frustraited and incomplete I guess you could say. It was my biggest coping mechanism, a friend I didn't have to talk to for them to understand- it was a creation. I took all of the inner demons I had and turned them into something beautiful and positive (I had a lot of inner demons.. issues I was working out).
Guess what? I'm in love.
Those inner demons are quieter- I'm truly happy. Love is the essance of happiness, it's the most beautiful thing I've ever experienced in my whole entire life (which is not saying much I guess, I'm only about 20 years old afterall). It makes me feel all the things I've seen in movies, books, tv, even dreams- but it's mine, it's real, it's better. When I'm with him I feel absolutely invincible, he makes me feel flawless, warm, he puts me in that euphoria of absolute bliss. We see the world in each other, and sense I've been with him I really feel alive.
You'd think that this would help my art though, but not really. It's such an intense feeling that I'm completely consumed by it- and when I try to draw it just doesn't match up, it's lame in comparison. Don't get me wrong, I still go on drawing sprees, it's just that art is not one of the most important things in my life. I've sort of put traditional art on the back burner, and I've picked up photography. I love it! Photography is my kick right now. I've just been hesitant to post it on dA because most of it has been sort of private- but I hope to post photography soon. I've had people tell me I'm an amazing photographer, I've even had offers to take Senior Pictures, pictures for newspapers, baby pictures, even a wedding ._. .. but sometimes it still feels weird to hear. I love photography, to capture things with a click forever- it's kind of like a time capsule. I'm just hesitant to share my capsules sometimes lol.
I'm also afraid that people will take my images and post them on Photobucket and then they will spread like wild fire. I wanted to completely shut down my dA account because of that. I love showing people my art within the dA community, but there's always that risk of someone "Save As"'ing and then BOOM it's everywhere. I personally know of a few people that has happened to.. not to mention seeing all of this dA art on Photobucket without any credit to the artist whatsoever. So we'll see where I go from here..
But anyway I'm getting off topic..
I guess I'm just really really happy.. happier than I can ever remember being, and so it's hard for me to draw because I usually used art as a venting practice. Does that make sense? I don't know.
It's hard to explain I suppose.